Blades of Glory

Funniest/bestist/most awesomist movie ever?

YES!

But Adam, what about Talladega Nights? Wedding Crashers? Dr. Zhivago? Water World? Baby Boy? And even though it was a television series, what about Hangin' With Mr. Cooper? Huh, Adam? What about them?

They had a good run, they really did. But Blades of Glory is the future! So drink it in whiles it's fresh, because it always will be!

I'm not even gonna try and explain it's man-like wisdom and genius, because I would it wouldn't do it justice.

See Blades of Glory! Tis the most orgasmic experience you'll ever have.

Happy Birthday!

Today marks the date of Anthony Machado's 24th birthday. We wanted to give him something pretty cool, so we kinda improv-ed a video.

Preface: We are going out to Porter's tonight for his birthday dinner, so this video is taking place just as we are getting ready to leave.

The Smoking Gentleman

Shootah Shootah

Shooter was pretty BA. I was disappointed though in Sam's review. He told us that some 72ish people were killed by Marky Mark in the opening scene. He failed to mention that they do not show him kill 72ish people in the opening scene. There were only like 8ish people killed. 8ish is not enough for me. None the less, it was an incredible movie all the way through.

Favorite line: "I don't think you understand how serious this is. They killed my dog!"
-Marky mark

And for all the fans of the "pretentious" Moleskine, there were two (2) different Moleskines used in the film by two (2) different people. Marky's "watcher" had one in the opening scene filled with scouting details, and Nick Memphis used one later while trying to break down who the real shooter was.

Tubers

Andrew Machado is "The Disappearing Man"

Alex Machado is "The Man Cat"

McDonald's Prep All-American Game

The Who: Kyle Singler (and Kevin Love). Both top college recruits for their class with Kyle heading to Duke and Love heading to UCLA.

The What: Singler and Love will be participating in the prestigious McDonald's Prep All-American boy basketball game in Louisville, Kentucky as part of the West squad. They will play with and against the other top players in the nation.

The When: Tonight at 5:00 pm PST on ESPN.

Randomness

Modern day Michelin Man Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man*! Here is a picture of the real Stay-Puff*. Can you see the comparison. Can you? CAN YOU? Remember that shit on Ghost Busters? I was always a little uncomfortable when the Stay-Puff* got all angry.

Kottke just linked the video of the Bugatti Veyron? Where has he been?

Star Trek Flat for sale. Interior designer and Trekie built the flat himself and substituted the bedroom for a transporter room. (via madhattr)

Is it true that you get a FREE sticker if you link to GeekFury.com? TRY IT AND SEE!

New Spiderman 3 poster! Check it here! (thnx Alex)

*Stay-Puff, not State Puff. I've given myself a Douche Card.

Costco Hack

Preface: In merchandising, we carry around a box, usually a wine box, that holds most of what we we need to do our job- box cutters, tape, sign lists, pens, paper. Some people leave them plain, others put stickers to show "personality."

Earlier last wee my box started falling apart. It's cardboard, so even if you take care of it, it will start to break down. I wanted a more resilient box along with other little mods to make finding what I need a little easier. I started examining what I use most, what I use least, stress points in the box itself, and other things of that nature. Last Monday I took my box home, along with all it's contents, borrowed some duct tape, extra cardboard, and magnets to make my box a more useful and practical box.

I lined the whole thing in duct tape, added cardboard dividers, made duct tape pen loop and duct tape pockets, and an interior holster for my tape gun. I even made a section for one of my pocket Cahier Moleskines (yes, I still use my Moleskines). I reinforced the corners and sealed up the glued seams of the box. I cut the box down where it was unneeded and strengthened parts take the most wear. I basically made an uber box, and everyone recognized the skill, or as they put it, the excessive amount of free time I have during the day. I wouldn't say it like thaaat, I like to think that I'm passionate about my work. I'm an artist, sue me.

Today, towards the end of my work day, I was approached by someone who took interest in idea of a "pimp-ass" box. The co-worker was from Oakland, California. He embraces the rap culture and participates in any rap battle venue that he can find. He's got wheels that shine and spits mad rhymes. This co-worker is James. I found it interesting that when he asked me to make a box for him, though not as B.A. as mine, more simplistic yet equal in class. Here is his box.

As you can see, his box is pretty plain. A blank canvas for him to add his own stickers and tag art. I classed mine up with a green Oregon "O" and an Apple sticker. I'll get pictures of mine up tomorrow since it'll be my Friday.

Go Ducks!

I'm not going to sit all game.

Oregon Ducks

On Uncrate they asked who we thought was going to win the NCAA Championship. I posted my comment and said that Oregon was going to top Georgetown. It seems that everything is heading in that direction. Oregon plays Florida tomorrow. If they win they will go against UCLA, who they beat earlier this season. The Ohio State will take on the winner of the Georgetown/North Carolina game that is on tomorrow. GO DUCKS!

Helen Keller Doppelganger

I was driving by the Silver Dragon when I came upon an interesting scene. At first I saw a motorized wheelchair that had been knocked over. Then I noticed the 5 cops cars that were in the Dragon's back parking lot with another pulling in and another on it's way. It seemed like 7 squad cars was a bit excessive, but maybe it was so necessary. These are some of the scenarios i first came up with when I passed by: Either (a) a Helen Keller-like character started acting up and the police had to protect the normal citizens form a cripple with limitless strength, (b) a bum stole it and fled on a high torque, 300 watt engine, or (c) actually I never thought up a third scenario, basically because I wouldn't believe any other conclusion then the previous two.

Well, that was my "Moment of the Day" (thus far).

Damned Deviant's

Woke up this morning at 1:27 to someone tapping on my window, I believe. It sounded like it was right next to me. It wasn't the sort of tapping like they were trying to get my attention, but just like someone was fuckin' around on my stoop (I was the only one home so it becomes 'my' instead of 'our' stoop). Anywho, I got up, without turning on any of the lights as to not be detected. I slowly looked out the window and saw that some dude was running around. It sounded like they were wearing sandals because they were 'slapin'. Then they ran out to some car, either theirs or their driver's, and took off. I went outside and looked around.

Scott's clubs weren't missing off the porch, though it does look like they were tampered with. His snow skate was fine as well, along with some other stuff of his. Why is it that he has more stuff on our stoop then Donnie and I combined?

I guess that it wasn't too bad, I went right back to bed and fell asleep and entered the dream that I had left at 1:27am.

Riparian Rejuvenation

Machado's are no strangers to the pages of the Medford Mail Tribune, and today another Machado makes his way into history. Tony and I were in the MT for our outstanding efforts in Track and Soccer, Alex made his way in with his run at the State Championships in wrestling, and of course Allison for being crowned Miss Oregon USA 2006 and her try at Miss USA.

Now Austin has entered in a segment on restoring a riparian habitat in Ashland. It's a small bit, but it is his first mentioning in the MT. Now just Drew needs to get out and do something worth mentioning. He is almost 21, job-less, sleeps in till 3am, and lives in the darkroom at our mom's house. Everyone, lets cheer on Drew to ditch his current "lifestyle" and do something great!

Randomness

300 trailer...For the PG version (thx Tom).

If anyone cares about seeing the ISS (International Space Station) pass over, here is a running schedule (for the Medford area) for when it goes by. It shows which direction it will be heading, the angle it will be visible at, time in sky, and where it leaves sight. I've seen it a few times, but that was a while back. You can see how rare it is to get a good view on it with the ISS at 11 degrees at max elevation.

I bought two (2) Busted tees! This one and this one.

I have this case coming as well, for my Macbook.

What I'm reading right now: Criticism of Christianity and Teapot.

Why does the Easter Bunny lay eggs? I guess we can add it to the short list of mammals that's lay eggs: Platypus, Echidna (short and long beaked), and now the Easter Bunny.

Jacob Has Spread His Seed

While on the stoop yesterday after Donnie's Interview, Scott and I discovered a wonderful thing: The makings of a pumpkin patch! It seems that when we got rid of the seeds from last Halloween, we dropped a few. Now, 5 months later, we have a little pumpkin patch coming in. I can't wait to be able to never pay for effing pumpkins again.

The Fiery Arcade

I'm diggin' Arcade Fire's Neon Bible.

Got Rape?

I've been thinking of ordering one of these bad boys for myself. Out there, in the wild, things can get pretty hairy. I've had a few scares before and this would make me feel a whole lot safer in this sick, sick world.

This "keychain" has a rape whistle, an LED light, a compass, and a thermometer, for the times where you're being sexually attacked by a bear in the woods and you need to find your way back to civilization in the dark. Oh, and you'd like to know how cold it is.

G-Shock Bad Luck

I just about cut my hand off with my G-Shock. Well first, yesterday I had to reprogram my watch because the time was off, due to the Daylight Savings Time being moved forward a little. How the hell do you set time to a watch that just goes off of satellite time? I had a hell of a time.

Now, for more recent hell. I went to put on my watch and started for "the notch." At first I was one notch short and it nearly slid to my elbow (fascias), then when I tried again I went two notches past and was unable to get it off because it was way too tight. My veins were the largest I had ever seen them when wrenching the watch strap.

At this moment:
There is a lot wasp on wasp humping going on right now. All you hear is a little "snap" from them falling out of the skies and landing on the cement while inter-twined, then a buzzing from the rapid, rapid humping, not from their wings flapping.

Coke Zero

The new Coke Zero commercial with the old man who asks if the grandson ( I suppose) knows what the capitol of Jabooty is (it's Joabooty), is holding a Coke can with a superimposed label on it. Nothing major, it just looks like shit. Watch for it during the NCAA tournament.

(Insert Title Here)

Went to Upper Table Rock Today. We got some real good footage of the Man Bear Pig's playground. We may have even found the trail that leads right to his lair. More later.

Knock and Don't Run!

Ol' Saint Patrick Had His Day

I guess that it is St. Patrick's Day today. I didn't even realize all the green when I got to work. In fact I almost told this girl that the green boa she was wearing was the most hideous thing I had ever seen. Well, have a nice St. Patrick's.

Enjoy.

Sonic

Who else absolutely loves the Sonic commercials with the two dudes in 'em. From the breakfast burritos, nay, "break-feast" burritos to not wanting to eat because Charlie, the stomach gremlin, will leave, they never get old. Here's to you Sonic, the coolest place in Oregon (rave White City residents). I'd link the commercials, but I couldn't find them on YouTube (weird huh?) or their website.

So Necessary

Sportin' plaid in the sun, it's so necessary.
Longboardin' for fun, it's so necessary.
Golfin' when we done, it's so necessary.
You hatin' on me, is that necessary?

Hit 711 b'fore we get-go,
rock a Cadbury, that's just how we roll.
Throw a couple elbows when we hit'n the door,
$5 bucket, yeah, that's all I can afford.

(It's gold, I know, but still a work in progress)

Randomness

"Worst "special effects" ever televised."

Fergie is a natural athlete.

Cat attacks reporter. I love the reaction from the reporter. If she were Amber Lynn Scott she would have known that the growling does not mean "having fun."

I own bitches everyday. Example:

Ken: (Watching "funny" car racing on TV") It's Mopar or no car.
Adam: Ah, ha ha, ah. It's Volkswagen of no wagon.
Ken: *silent*

Ken=Pwned.

Fifth Element

Donnie explains his frustration with with whole process of grocery shopping. I could only hope in the future to stop by a 711 sized store and walk around picking up capsules that turn into full course meals for 5 people when you microwave 'em, just like in The Fifth Element. That would be out of this world!

Lil' Jon At Zach Galifianakis Stand Up

I was blog rolling and found a post where Eric was talking about Zach Galifianakis. I remember his stand up on Comedy Central years back and searched it out on YouTube. After listening to it I came to the conclusion that Lil' Jon was in attendance. Watch the video and listen closely around the 8:36 mark. Zach asks a serious, serious question, one that we should all ask ourselves. Well Lil' Jon did so and clearly answered in the only was he knows how. Check it out!

Andrew Blurbs

Drew: Listen, I'm not saying I'm against Jesus, I'm just sayin', "Lord AND Savior?"

Saved by the Bell

So many great memories come to mind when I think of the times when Saved by the Bell was cool. Was it cool? It was for me, but I also pwned at Pokemon, so cool for me may be lame for others. I would always run up the hill as fast as I could from Orchard Hill and hope that I did not have to take a piss in the bamboo field in fear of missing the beginning to Saved by the Bell. Their were some episodes that really made you think, made you hope and dream. There were others that were cornier than the KFC Famous Bowls.

What would you choose as the corniest moments in Saved by the Bell? Pick 'em and compare them to The List. It says "classic moments" but I think that corniest suits Saved by the Bell a little better. Video evidence is provided by YouTube.

300...Again

Saw 300 again last night with Scotty. Yes, it's just that good. And I found the more rock/metal like tracks from the movie. IMDb provided no help with the search, neither did Amazon. It was Movies.com that provided samples to find the right track.

Looking forward to:

Hot Fuzz
Spiderman 3
Shooter
Grindhouse

Oh Shit What

What what whaaaat? I get my strongest internet signal from out on the stoop! Beat that, stolen internet out on our favorite stoop. Such a great addition to Stoop Life.

South Medford Ballers

Scott has uploaded some of the pictures he got at the State Championship to his Flickr. He also got a video of the final seconds of the 4th quarter which he has uploaded to YouTube. Check 'em out!

Here are Preston's pictures, he only took a couple and they aren't even that good a quality (facetious).

300

300 was sooo tight. Such a classic. It was kinda funny, at one point it reminded me of A Night's Tale. Not the cheesiness, but he music used. In A Night's Tale, they used relatively modern music instead of creating some that fit the place and time of the story. At one point in 300 you see the 300 Spartan's marching and it's this totally awesome rock/metal music. It's pretty obvious too that it was nothing like the music used in the movie thus far and not a sound you would hear in the era that the film took place in. All I could say when I heard it was, "Yes." It was just a way of keeping you a little bit more connected the story, by putting something modern at just the right point in the movie, and for me it worked.

See 300.

South Medford: State Champs

Scott and I just got back from the 6A State Championships in Eugene. It was amazing. Harthun was off the chain. 5-5 from the 3 point range, shiiiit. Love is just a beast, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't budge him. But somehow Jon Grimes left him sliding across the Mac's floor. Is Jon boy a super-freak Hulk? No. Love is fucking faker. South filled like 3/4 of Mac Court, and were a whole lot cooler than L.O.'s fans.

Anywho, we kicked it Kevin before and during the game and met up with Preston, Samij and his boo after the match. A nice little reunion.

This was my first visit to Mac Court, and it was definitely a great one.

Videos

World record ski jump. I don't know if he even intended on landing. Like they said in School of Rock, you're not hardcore unless you live hardcore," and that was hardcore.

Full Metal Rudolf. FMJ dubbed to the classic Rudolf Christmas movie. Here is Full Metal Classroom as well.

Painting of Super Size Me with ketchup and fries.

Bigfoot: Child Molester. Perfect.

Top 10 Borat moments. Not just from the movie, some look like post Borat release and Ali G show. Jagshemash!

Randomness

Octopus Wrastlin'. Too many suction cups for me. Gross. Looks more like intercourse between a stripped down Foot Clan member and Krang (from the old TMNT). If you don't know who Krang is then you must be lame. He was only one of the coolest action figures ever, along with the original Carnage figurine and Stretch Armstrong.

Ooph if I've ever seen one.

Treat your Sea Monkeys right. Only linked it because I've been the owner of Sea Monkeys before, and loved 'em, and wanted to see the new tanks. SEA MONKEYS SHALL LIVE ON!

Mac users are skinny? What the hell hapened to Sam? Just kiddin', but seriously.

Local deviant's plan to clean up Medford's streets is cut short by local authorities.

Breakamos ::Motions like breaking a stick::

These next days off are much needed. I have 5 days off with 3 of them being payed. I got payed today for the week of the walk and the week after. "Cha-Ching" in a massive understatement. My raise kicked in for this up coming paycheck. I am now making $11/hr., and my next raise is $11.60

Kyle Singler

So has anyone seen the highlight footage of the 2006 Les Schwab Championship game between South Medford and Oak Hill Academy? There is a YouTube video online with music any everything. Pretty fucking amazing. Oak Hill is flat out amazing, nothing new there, but Kyle stuck it to 'em HARD. If no one has seen evidence thus far for why Kyle Singler is going to Duke, watch the video. My favorite move, besides his dunk, has to be the one around the 1:34 mark.

Scott and I are now enjoying some Arby's while listening to the South Medford game on the radio. They are at the State Championships in Eugene playing against #6 Grant.

For Aunt Cathy

MacBook

I'm having so much fun with the Mac. I've never really been good with regular laptops, but with all the little tricks for Mac's it pretty simple to adjust to and navigate around. Definitely the best purchase I've ever made.

Scooty-Scoot

My brothers played a little joke on Drew with his scooter.

MacBook, Hooo!

Just went out and picked up a MacBook. Garsh is it sweet. Black 13-inch MacBook. This is my first computer ever. Mine. My own. My precious. I may update more now that I don't have to commute to post. Mac is the glue that keeps the SOB together.

On Poops

Since about my 8th grade year I realized the pride, and entertainment, that comes along with a "good poop." Sometimes you have good poops, sometimes you don't, that's life. This next part happened a couple days ago.

MAY OBTAIN SOME INTERESTING CONTENT! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

I had been eating really good for the past few days. I spent $16 on groceries and vowed not to spend any other funds. The money I had left was just for gas, for the VW. So recently, after work, I really had to take a dump. While dumping, it seemed effortless, like it should always be. It seemed like I had a "good one" going on. So I concentrated. I made sure I made no sudden movements as to not disturb the process that was currently going on. By the time I was done, I had actually felt rejuvenated, full of energy, ready to start the rest of my day. As I looked back to check out the prize, it had already made its way up the flush hole. FOCK! How do I know it that feeling I was feeling was that of when experiencing a "good poop?" What do you do in that situation? I was furious. I totally underestimated to pre-suction of the flush hole and was screwed out of the satisfaction of knowing that I had a "good poop." I suppose I'll never know the length of that dumper. If I had to guess though, I would say that it was "turban" length in technical pooping terms. I think I coined that term back in 9th grade while at a track meet.

A "turban" is one full length, or more I suppose, around the inside of the bowl. It takes some skill, not just some half ass explosivo poopage, you have to pick your spot and aim.

South Medford

Kyle Singler has been layin' some serious hurt on the the past couple teams. I went to last nights game and he showed no remorse. I believe he scored 35 points last night, after basically being shut out the first half. He was having ball swatted, the defence was standing him up and boxing him out. The second half he scored 26 of his 35 points. E.J. was a force as well. I don't know why he only received an honorable mention for conference. Kyle had a monstrous dunk against Oregon City where his head almost hit the rim. He also had one against Aloha that would make you...Well it was just mean.

Niners

The San Fransisco 49ers picked up Michael Lewis, a safety from the Philadelphia Eagles, then threw the checkbook (an 8 yr. $80 mil. contract) at Nate Clements, UBER "franchise" cornerback from the Buffalo Bills (sorry, Scott), in hopes to boost the lacking defence for the Niners. Both were starters for their former teams and will start in the upcoming season for the Niners.

With the Niners offense on the rise, and the defense bulking up, I am anxious to watch yet another Niner season. Once Smith's O-line started shapin' up, he did incredible, incredible things for a second year QB, especially if you look back on his rookie season. I don't need to say a darned thing about "Hardcore to the Floor" Frank Gore (coined by yours truly). For a time he was the leading rusher last season, and stated that his Idol was the leagues best RB, L.T., who was no. 2 to Gore. Gore ended the season at no. 4 in rushing in the NFL.